Fun Viking-y Stuff

Your Viking Name is…

Már Boneflattener

Your Viking Personality: You’re a fearsome Viking, but you aren’t completely uncivilized. The other Vikings make fun of you for that. Both your friends and your enemies think you’re a little weird. As a Viking, you’re one of the “berserkers”, and rush into battle with no clothes on. If the sight of you naked isn’t enough to disable the enemy, your sword certainly will be.

If you ever tried to make a voyage in a Viking longboat, you would die. Either from seasickness, or from your shipmates throwing you overboard into shark-infested waters. You possess some skills which other Vikings respect, though in your case their respect is tinged with fear.

People who’ve known you for a while don’t always trust your word. Other people tend to think of you as manipulative and conniving.

Click here to find out your Viking Name

It is greatly to my liking,
To be a lusty Viking;
Yes, that’s the only life for me.
Not for me just peaceful trading,
But pillaging and raiding
And a life on the rolling sea.

We’ll attack some peaceful village
Where we’ll rape and burn and pillage,
And return with wenches, gold and loot.
Though my actions are deplorable
I’m really quite adorable
For I’m just a simple Viking brute.

So come and join my party
Live a life that’s gay and hearty,
A rover’s life that’s fun and fancy free.
Enjoy a life that’s thrilling
With lots of raids and killing
Yes, it’s a Viking life for me.

Copyright – Larry Webster  


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20 thoughts on “Fun Viking-y Stuff

  1. Melkorka Wussypants
    (Well, actually, that wouldn’t really be your name — since you’re female, your name would be something like “Melkorka Björnsdottir”. But this is the twenty-first century, and you want to be known for who you are, not for who your father was, right? Right.)

    Your Viking Personality: The other Vikings let you come on raids with them, but only because they think it’s hilarious to watch you try to handle a sword. Both your friends and your enemies think you’re a little weird. You’re not a very fearsome fighter; in fact, you’d probably bleed to death if a sword hit your shadow.

    If you ever tried to make a voyage in a Viking longboat, you would die. Either from seasickness, or from your shipmates throwing you overboard into shark-infested waters. Vikings make fun of you all the time. Not always behind your back, either.

    People tend to treat you like a doormat, generally because they know they can get away with it. Other Vikings would be calling you “tree-hugging hippie peacenik” if the phrase had been invented.

    • Get your helmet and get in the long boat – we’re going reaving, YAY! W e can plunder the west coast – ransack a couple of organic warms and stuff? Yes? No?

  2. oops, that was because I didn’t make any selections

    here’s the real Viking me – if you can tell the difference 😉

    Melkorka Sheeptipper
    (Well, actually, that wouldn’t really be your name — since you’re female, your name would be something like “Melkorka Björnsdottir”. But this is the twenty-first century, and you want to be known for who you are, not for who your father was, right? Right.)

    Your Viking Personality: The tougher Vikings might let you on the boat, but generally only when they need ballast. You’re not a belligerent person by nature, which is unfortunate if you want to be a Viking. You probably know which end of a sword to hold, but you’re not a fearsome fighter by any stretch of the imagination.

    You might grumble a bit at the lack of amenities on board a Viking longboat, but you can handle it. Other Vikings tolerate your presence, though they’re not quite sure if they can trust you to fight dirty.

    You have a fairly pragmatic attitude towards life, and tend not to expend effort in areas where it would be wasted. Due to your gregariousness, you don’t strike fear into the hearts of your victims. Try to be a little more surly in the future.

    • Yeah some of THOSE quizzes get it soooooooo very wrong! Should we storm someone’s office building with farm implements and burn it? (the building, not the farm implements)

  3. If I should meet a Viking
    I would not think him striking,
    Or think that he deserved a bit of fame –
    I would quickly send him hiking;
    On his bike I’d get him biking
    Right back to whence such evil fellows came.

Come on...give me your best shot!

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